Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
