This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
