hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
