Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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