Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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