This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I smell like Dick and happiness
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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