Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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