He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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