just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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