The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
love makes seman taste better
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
