this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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