Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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