You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
