YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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