Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
