He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
worst night to have a conscience
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
