I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
