do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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