I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
