How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize