so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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