I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just found puke in my bra..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
