he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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