North Korea, Best Korea!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
