butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
