barbara walters just said penis...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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