i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
