operation harelip BJ is a go
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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