Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
