you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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