Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
