the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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