I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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