I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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