Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
