**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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