at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
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Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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