Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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