So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
