So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
