Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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