Me too!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
