Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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