You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
