Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
