Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
