Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize