you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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