Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
