he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
is wine microwaveable?
worst night to have a conscience
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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