Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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