There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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