I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
this will be a night to untag.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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