Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
