Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
