I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
