i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
